Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
That night was nothing but getting to know how smooth your body is. The memory of it goes through me like brandy.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs for you…
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
You kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry.
Only the sun has come this close, оnly the sun.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
Я был блажен, я был жесток
В своих желаниях ревнивых,
Чтоб хоть на родинку еще
Была ты менее красивой.
Но ты божественна была,
До исступления совершенна.
Надежду только обожгла.
И вот молюсь самозабвенно.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
I need someone. I need to hold somebody close. And I need more than this holding. I need someone to understand how I feel at a time like now. And the understanding must be part of the holding.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
If anyone else were to kiss me,
all they would taste is your name.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
Yes, I want to be your friend. I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The оne you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
I want to believe there is a somebody out there just for me. I want to believe that I exist to be there for that somebody.
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
Beramode, блог «Faded Fantasy»
Are you healed or do you оnly think you’re healed?
I told myself
from nothing
nothing could be taken away.
But can you love anyone yet?
When I feel safe, I can love.
But will you touch anyone?
I told myself
if I had nothing
the world couldn’t touch me.
In the bathtub, I examine my body.
We’re supposed to do that.
I was vigilant: when I touched myself
I didn’t feel anything.
Were you safe then?
I was never safe, even when I was most hidden.
Even when I was waiting.
So you couldn’t protect yourself?
The absolute
erodes; the boundary, the wall
around the self erodes.
If I was waiting I had been
invaded by time.
But do you think you’re free?
I think I recognize the patterns of my nature.
But do you think you’re free?
I had nothing
and I was still changed.
Like a costume, my numbness
was taken away. Then
hunger was added.
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