The fist clenched round my heart
loosens a little, and I gasp
brightness; but it tightens
again. When have I ever not loved
the pain of love?
But this has moved
past love to mania.
This has the strong
clench of the madman, this is
gripping the ledge of unreason, before
plunging howling into the abyss.
Hold hard then, heart.
This way at least you live.
I’m yours for ever–for ever and ever. Here I stand; I’m as firm as a rock. If you’ll оnly trust me, how little you’ll be disappointed. Be mine as I am yours.
The hardest kind of resistance,
is when you’re resisting yourself.
When your heart want something,
and your brain prevents it.
When you want to cry,
but you smile instead
to protect your pride.
When you feel like blowing up,
but prefer to explode in your deepest depths,
so no оne around you can feel it.
We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright.
But I’m already two states away, lying with a boy
I let drink rain from the pulse at my throat.
No оne leaves me, I’m the оne that chooses.
I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell. I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.
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