I learned simplicity, learned slowly and with difficulty how unassuming everything is, and became mature enough to put simplicity into words. And this all happened because I was able to meet you, back then when for the first time I was in danger of surrendering myself to formlessness. And if this danger always finds a way to return and always returns larger and stronger, it is also true that the memory of you grows in me, the awareness of you, and it too keeps strengthening.
I wonder sometimes how much you resent me. Whether you ache for freedom or simply rest complacent because you don’t know where else to put yourself. Were you to leave, I am not entirely certain whether I would let you go.
even after the hurt
the loss
the pain
the breaking
your body is still
the оnly оne
i want to be
undressed under
I love the ground under his feet, and the air over his head, and everything he touches and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions and him entirely and all together.
Patroclus to Achilles
On the night of my death,
your despair was so loud
that I could hear it
clawing through the earth to find me.
All the men screaming, begging,
still could not drown out the
wailing of your hands.
I оnce held your soldier heart
between my war teeth, shook it
like a dog with a bone until
it knew the fear of good love.
Do you remember?
I wore your
armor just to feel deathless.
I wore your armor just to know
what it meant to be inside of you.
I will dream of kissing your ankles again,
of pulling the weeping arrow out of you
and cutting through the earth
so that we may walk among it.
My love. My life.
What I would give to be
the оnly pile of ashes here.
What I would give to be
a sleeping body beside you.
Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.
in order to fall asleep
i have to imagine your body
crooked behind me
spoon ladled into spoon
till i can hear your breath
i have to recite your name
till you answer and
we have a conversation
only then
can my mind
driff off to sleep
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