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Everyone prepared for Ginny Weasley meta? CUZ HERE I GO
Okay so I was remembering all the early fandom nonsense criticizing Ginny for breaking up with boys for what they saw as silly reasons (they were not, and anyone has the right to end a relationship if it’s not working for them) and it occurred to me how Ginny refuses to put up with anyone giving her shit or not respecting her wishes or condescending to her can be directly traced back to her experiences with Tom Riddle.
He was, in many ways, Ginny’s first relationship. He looked down оn her- there is no doubt about that since he openly mocked her to Harry. He was the оnly оne in control in the relationship and he used that control to abuse, manipulate and possess her. Ginny was so lonely and felt so hopeless that she completely gave this much older guy she didn’t even know anything about everything he needed to exploit and control her. There were no boundaries in this relationship because Ginny was too young to feel the need for them. She gave and he took. She was treated in a way she did not in the least bit deserve. It was the very definition of an abusive relationship.
So is it really a surprise that after this horrific experience, Ginny developed very clear boundaries? That the instant a guy doesn’t respect her wishes, or treats her in a way she doesn’t deserve, she shuts him down completely or ends that relationship? That is more than just Ginny being strong willed (which is great), it’s also self-preservation developed from her desire not to end up in an abusive relationship again.
Look at Ginny’s three relationships:
скрытый текстGinny broke up with Micheal Corner when he got pissy at her for winning in Quidditch against Ravenclaw. Not оnly is this immature behavior, it shows he does not support her succeeding in something she loves that is a huge part of her, that he expects her to sabotage herself (lose) to make him happy, and that he values his own happiness above hers, but expects her to put him above her own happiness. She does not оn any level deserve that treatment. So of course she broke up with him rather than coddle him. She was able to look at herself and say I don’t deserve this guy dragging me down.
She broke up with Dean because- оn top of just not geling together terribly well for a while apparently- she was under the impression that he was repeatedly not respecting her wishes about not wanting to be helped through the door. She had told him she didn’t want to be helped. Yet (as far as he knew) he had decided not to respect that. You can probably consider that Ginny’s reasons for not wanting help go back to not ever wanting to feel helpless again after what she went through, but regardless of their reasons, if someone tells you they don’t like something you’re doing to them, you should stop. Ginny has very clear boundaries now, and if guys don’t respect her wishes regarding her own self, they can hit the road. She was not going to wait around for it to get worse. Ginny knows she deserves someone who listens and respects her requests, and someone who doesn’t shouldn’t be around her.
With Harry, Ginny always SHUT HIM DOWN when he crossed the line by yelling at her or disrespected her in anyway. When he was yelling at everyone and forgot she had actually been possessed by Voldemort, she reminded him and made it clear that was not okay. This actually shut Harry up immediately. When he was rude to her when she came in while they were panicking about Sirius potentially being taken by Voldemort, she said something to the effect of “you don’t get to be rude to me”. Even when he snapped at her to hurry up later, she pointed out his behavior was hypocritical and she wasn’t putting up with it.
Ginny makes her boundaries very clear and shuts Harry down when he acts in an abusive way towards her and people around her. She makes it clear she knows she does not deserve to be treated this way and she is not going to coddle him or make excuses for him. By the time they actually got together, he was no longer prone to that sort of behavior, but you can bet she wouldn’t have put up with it.
(She did accept the breakup because someone being willing to stay away from you because they are worried they might inadvertantly cause you physical harm is actually sort of the exact opposite of how it went down with Riddle- clinging to you so they CAN cause you physical harm. Even though we can argue about whether he had the right to make that decision, Harry was concerned about her safety and he didn’t do anything against her wishes- she accepted his decision.)
When Ron nearly called her a slut and tried to interfere with and control her personal life, she was so fucking furious that she would have cursed him if it hadn’t been for Harry getting between them. She shut him down as harshly as he deserved to be shut down verbally too. Whenever anyone talks badly about her or people she cares about, or treats them badly, she gets furious and ridiculously protective to the point she will confront or even attack them (apparently this habit didn’t stop post series either, judging from Rita Skeeter’s coverage JKR released). Curses and attacks like that are often treated pretty lightly in HP-land, so this mostly demonstrates Ginny zero-tolerance policy there.
Ginny responded to her past abuse by gaining a very strong sense of self that does not tolerate being treated badly, nor her loved оnes being treated badly. She will cut people from her life if they no longer make her happy, and she will not be treated badly by anyone.
Not оnly is this her prerogative, I actually super relate to this, because I do react pretty strongly and respond with a “you don’t get to treat me this way” when people cruel to me because of putting up with years of abuse from my dad. I got sick taking it and to preserve myself, I react pretty harshly when people pull anything remotely similar with me. Unlike Ginny, I still have to work оn the thing where I’ll give people way more chances than they deserve and things can get bad as a result- but I totally get it.
(This is also, incidentally, why I think Ginny is the best kind of person for Harry to be with romantically if he’s with anyone, because she will absolutely not allow him to terrorize her with his (understandable) anger issues. She will not be afraid and wilt under his yelling (like Ron and Hermione do) but she will also not tolerate it. I’m pretty sure if he went Capslock оn her while they were married dating, she would throw his ass into therapy and tell him to work it out or she’s out. And that would obviously be pretty good for both of them. I would not want Harry to be with Hermione or someone who would get scared if he yelled or freaked out, for THAT PERSON’S SAKE.)
One of the failings of HP is we didn’t get a lot of attention оn Ginny’s arc or recovery (hardly any at all) but I still admire to hell out of her for recovering, and deciding she would never put up with anything less than the respect she deserved in a relationship again, that she would not tolerate bad treatment. Ginny is amazing. 
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